Look What I've Accomplished!

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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Has it been that long already...

I'm stressed, our living conditions are stressful which is causing me stress. Now I am responsible for my own feelings, how I react to things, my attitude and I know I'm to be grateful but gosh darn it I'm feeling very stressed over everything.

Now for the good stuff, I just got my 10 year AA chip last month (yayness!) yes I celebrated 10 years of continuous sobriety and I am very proud of myself which is why I don't get why on earth I am acting like a newcomer and a spoiled brat. Oh I know why it because I'm scared; good ole fear does me in every single time.

Now let me back up a bit...

Current weight with clothes on (sweatshirt, sweat pants, socks et al) 270lbs (good God I know, I know).

I am selling my 2 horses because of our current living arrangement (long story).

I'm in a major distrust mode because of our current living arrangement, you see I live on a beautiful farm, I rent and my landlord well lets just say he's not someone we trust, we have no lease and well he's not an honest man by any means. Things are coming to a head because of the new tenant that lives downstairs who goes way back with the landlord and wants our place... time will tell... Now please note I am an alcoholic so all this thought activity is going on in my head which means, a lot of this is projection on my part (I have a magnifying mind) however, my little voice (intuition) tells me it is so.

I'm addicted to sugar, yes I know we've already covered this but I am seriously addicted to the stuff as I am addicted to alcohol, I have to leave the sugar and certain carbs behind. I'm considering doing some online OA meetings (Overeater's Anonymous) because meetings and the 12 steps of AA help me with my drinking so I'm thinking meetings and the 12 steps of OA will help me with my binging.

I do apologize for being all over the place with this post, it's not intentional it's the way my brain has been working as of late.

Thanks for coming by!
God Bless

"This blog is so much more then writing about my weight loss journey it has become an extension in helping me know who I am and who I can be."