Look What I've Accomplished!
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Thursday, March 26, 2009
Do you know what's really scary, I used to do Weight Watchers and it really worked well for me, I enjoyed it, I could eat anything but it did nothing for my cravings, I still had them, plus at some point I hit a serious plateau and well I gave up. So I used to have this excel sheet that I got off the internet where I could count my points for the day and I had entered all my data etc... so I have all my stats back home but I did find some in my email because I used to email myself at work my menu, anyway I saw this on one of the excel sheets.
12/31/05 230.5 lbs
3/13/06 251.0 lbs.
5/28/06 260.0 lbs.
9/12/06 285 lbs.
9/19/06 270 lbs.
9/26/06 268 lbs.
10/3/06 264.5 lbs.
So I've been struggling with my weight demons for quite awhile, I didn't realize this had been going on that long!
Now, I remember in 2005 feeling overwhelmed by my life, hating it almost because I was in a relationship with somebody I no longer loved. I hated my job, my boss and my significant other at the time was doing drugs. I wanted out and fast! I believe my eating "disorder" stems from my emotions. I couldn't drink, I'm an alcoholic and drinking is something I don't want in my life again, ever, I was a huge drunk, the drunks near me thought I was fucked up and too much of a drunk for them so eating was my option and from the results above eating I did.
Now from the results I see above, I was definitely an extreme binge eater, I've never been a binge eater before that in my life, however, I can recall as a child after school going to my grandmothers and making myself 4 toast as a snack with caramel, or bananas or whatever. I also recall when I was about 12 years old eating 6 hot dogs and a friend of the families was so "impressed" how can this skinny little thing eat 6 hot dogs?! So I've always had shall we say a "healthy" appetite. But binging never occurred to me until 2003-2004 when I finished doing Weight Watchers, suddenly food was the do all and end all of everything! My first binge food was mini ice cream sandwhiches, I ate a box of 12 in one sitting, I haven't looked back since.
The above statement is inaccurate, I have stopped binging once I started the South Beach Diet. I sometimes feel a bit like a wild dog trying to hold onto her bone like the day hubby ate my pudding, but I'm trying to change and at least the cravings aren't like they were before. I would say I'm almost 100% craving free except I've had a passion for sweets my whole life, I doubt this is something that can be changed overnight just like losing weight.
Wow, I don't know how I ended up posting all this, I guess it's the milestone of weighing in the 260's it had been so long since I had seen that number (2.5 years to be exact) that it brought back memories.
Now, I just got my hot water back, our water heater's elements died on us and there was a miscommunication with the manufacturer but everything is fine now. I'm embarrassed to say it's been 3 days since I've showered :blush: washing with a face cloth just doesn't feel the same, I feel like Pig Pen , so I'm going to work out, shower and get ready for my AA meeting.
Thanks for stopping by!
That's for stopping by and reading,
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
This is my first week doing the Healthy You Challenge! I loss 4 pounds which is pretty excellent and I'm in my PMS phase which means I'm moody but still following the plan. Today hubby did something that made me lose it (please note I am suffering PMS symptoms) he ate all the pudding I made!!! Anyway onto other things LOL I rather not talk about the pudding story right now, it still makes me mad LOL sad but true.
I've stuck to the SBD plan though I think I'm cutting corners, i.e. skipping a meal here and there and not including enough veggies in my plan. Time to emotionally regroup and get the book out and start following it to a tee again.
I've continued doing my one mile video and am starting to get a bit antsy and want to start the 2 mile or at least try though I'm sure I can. I want to start incorporating strength training which is something I've never done before. I think it will help me tone my body and speed up my metabolism.
I'm proud of what I've achieved so far, I'm just 2 pounds short of having lost 10% of my weight (yay me). I feel this is right and I try to stay in the moment where this eating plan is concerned. I appreciate the fact that there are other bloggers doing this and I get so inspired by them.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Since the 14th I've been a bit busy, I went to an AA Potluck and managed to avoid eating the Better than Sex cake, white bread rolls, pasta salads and loads of other fatty dishes. What I did eat was the shaved beef (I took a lot to fill up my belly) a deviled egg (I wanted 10 but took 1) and some beans (small portion) I couldn't even finish my plate because I filled up on the beef. All in all I was proud of myself. Hubby cheated but not too bad then he had to go to work. Once we arrived home from (me from the potluck him from AA) he was starving, so was I (or so I thought I was) but I wouldn't even eat a jell-O, I thought I had plenty of food for the day, enough was enough.
I worked out for 3 days last week doing a mile each day and hubby is doing so well too, he's at 241 pounds which is very good, he's 6 feet tall and I honestly think he looks good now, though he wants to weigh less and he hasn't weighed this little in a long time. He's got 41 pounds before he reaches his goal and to think when I lose 41 pounds I'll weigh what he weighs now LOL. God, I can't wait to weigh less then him, but this is my journey and it'll take the time it takes.
I've been watching Oprah's Best Life Series and I'm learning alot for instance, as women we must do cardio 5 days a week for 20 minutes at the very least in order to see real results. Today I did my one mile which is 20 minutes long before the cool down. My commitment to self is to exercise every day this week by doing the one mile Leslie Sansone Get Up and Get Started which I do with 1 1/2 pound wrist weights.
I am also learning that there is a huge connection with food and emotions (I am definitely an emotional eater/binger), though in spite of that I love a good piece(s) of cake, cookies, all deserts, I love the flavor of sugar. Which brings to mind that I am avoiding all deserts until I feel like I can handle it. I am not eating any cake/cookies/chocolate/ice cream at this time because I feel it will set me up on a binge of cake/cookies/chocolate/ice cream and whatever else I can get my hands on. So I am stepping away from all deserts except for jell-O and pudding (both are sugar and fat free).
I have lost an additional 4 pounds! Which is great news, I believe that the exercise is helping and I love the South Beach diet, I love how we eat, what we eat and everything else that evolves around this plan for eating. I started including rice, bread, cereal in my diet, hubby has 2 portions a day whereas I have one of them. I was a little nervous at first to start including this in my plan but it's not realistic of me to think that I can avoid bread for the rest of my life. We've gotten great rice that has 3 grams of fiber, a tasty multi-grain bread and a box of Shredded wheat cereal which I ate this morning for breakfast without any sugar and gosh darnit it was delicious!
I will attempt to post more often, I will try to post my food and exercise logs and while I have your attention, you can leave me some encouragement for my walks if you click on my Dailymile link on the far right column, that would be appreciated.
Thanks for stopping by!