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Monday, September 29, 2008

I'm still here!

After spending a lovely weekend with family it's surprising that I feel so down. My stepdaughter came over with the grandchildren and we had a grand old time (pardon the pun). I had McDonald's probably twice along with other terrible foods. My cookie dough craving came out of nowhere since I've never had cookie dough in my entire life. So I had to have a cookie dough blizzard from DQ's. I had their delicious chicken in a basket and well no need to go into ugly details I ate like it was my last meal. If I keep it up it just might be.

Aunt Flo arrived and she's heavier then she's been in years, hubby is obsessed with an online game that he plays all hours into the night and well I procrastinate whenever I can about life's important decisions. All this and me binging is making me very sad. I didn't want this blog to be a sad blog, I wanted it to be pro-active but the reality is this is how I feel right now.

I looked out the window today and saw my horses and thought why on earth am I inside the house, why am I sitting on the computer when its a beautiful sunny fall day outside? How can I motivate myself to be pro-active about my health? Why am I sabotaging myself like this? I'm sure I"ll be fine in a few days, once in awhile I get the blues, I'm sure a nice hot shower in clean bed sheets with a good book might do the trick.

I have a deadline tomorrow, I can't screw it up, especially since the visit from my family this past weekend put me way behind in my work so I'm also adding stress to my yukky feelings of self worth but I can do it, I have to do it, I should be doing it now.

Enough of the yukky post, I just wanted you all to know that I'm still around, not quitting, not giving up and I'm still blogging...

Thanks for dropping by...

"This blog is so much more then writing about my weight loss journey it has become an extension in helping me know who I am and who I can be."